Captain's Log Stardate 102616: Relationships to Parents

In Frozen Journey by Philip K Dick, the protagonist (Victor) is forced to relive his childhood memories and discovers his buried guilt over helping his cat to kill a bird. He has anxiety issues, it seems, and the guilt about this and other little things has screwed him up. This is based off the Freudian mind, that the unconscious mind has trauma buried within it which could potentially affect the conscious mind. Also, Victor feels guilty about the death of the bird and feels like he should have been caught by his mother, but simultaneously doesn't want to have the wrath of his mother turned on him, which would likely lead to punishment.

The idea of wanting love and attention, not punishment, from one's mother is definitely Freud-derived. However, I think that child-parent relationships have changed quite a bit since Freud's childhood and even since 1980, when Frozen Journey was written. For most of human history, children were cherished as gifts from deities but also had to do manual labor to help their parents make a living. Often, 15-year olds were treated as adults (they fought in wars, they were married, they had to work, etc.). After the first Industrial Revolution in the 19th century (in First World countries), children were more expensive than profitable to their parents, and so they either worked or were sent to school or just to run around. In the 60’s, many parents were content to sit on the couch and let their kids run around and do irresponsible things like smoke cigarettes. Nowadays in American middle-class society, most parents are more involved with their kid’s lives (some form of a soccer mom), and are both loving and protective.

To me, it’s clear to see a trend in human history that parents are paying more attention to their kids (and hopefully showing them affection) but also that kids are losing independence. I personally think that this is a good trade-off: if you have a good relationship with your parents, like I do, they can help you out in a lot of ways as a kid. My parents help me deal with my problems, drive me around, encourage me to do well in school, and are there for me. If I did run around being irresponsible, I would lose that relationship with my parents, which may be worth it in the short term but is not in the long term (when they’re helping me pay for college after they helped me get into college).

Back to Frozen Journey, I can understand how not being loved by a parent could cause emotional trauma that would be buried in your subconscious and could eventually come back to bite you in the ass. I always feel bad hearing about people with uncaring or even abusive parents (shoutout to the Breakfast Club). Parents are an essential part of a kid’s life (though many teenagers would debate if they are a helpful one), and they should be a home base you can turn to during rough patches.